Oh man

---stricken for lack of usefulness---

I tried to go to Target yesterday, but I missed.

Two thoughts I had the other day when my wife and I were shopping at Target for wedding presents:

1) Shopping off of a registry (much like giving gift cards) is basically a way of telling someone how much you like them in dollars. As it turns out, I like Kyle and Chelsey about $25.

2) Why do cards (like birthday, anniversary, and wedding) have such sappy junk in them? It seems really hypocritical to me to give someone a card with words inside that you would never, in a million years, say to them in person. I hope Kyle and Chelsea are happy and have a great life, but I do not, specifically, wish them magical years full of blissful joy and the fulfillment of all their wildest fantasies and dreams. Or whatever.



A third thought: marriage is a lot like high school, and most of life: you get out of it what you put into it, and if you choose to have a good time, you usually do.

Attack Ads

I'm sick of Apple's super negative advertising campaign. The one with Justin Long, the kid from some lame movies, mostly from Judd Apatow.

We get the point. Vista has issues. Whatever. Don't tell me why I shouldn't buy a PC, tell my why I SHOULD buy a Mac. Mac has a lot of innovative feature and although really gimmicky, they are fun and easy to use. Work from there.

Steve Jobs could run a political campaign like a champ.

photoality and imageoraphy

Since I just got a shiny new iPhone, (stolen image courtesy some website) with all its internet havingness, I am going to make an attempt at photo blogging. The camera is not stellar, but HOLY CRAP, I JUST NOW had an amazing idea. If I had a digital camera with Bluetooth, I could send the pics from it to me phone, and from there deliver them, piping hot, to you the interneter. This could be a photo sharing revolution! A photaringution! I'm going to end this post now and search doggedly for such a camera. I have my doubts that such a beast exists, but if I can't find one, I'll MAKE one. Alls I need is a camera, some teeth and a blue marker.





This is going to be rad.

Things

Things I like: (in no particular order)

Freezing cold, sunny mornings, where the grass is frozen and some things are steaming as the sun heats them up.

A smooth single malt on rocks.

My wife.

A great theological discussion.

Dry, cold, cloudy days; when the leaves are turning and the air smells like chimney smoke and there's work to be done.

Ambient Rock: Explosions in the Sky, Sigur Ros, Mogwai, Radiohead.

Jazz-blues-rock bastards: Tom Waits.

A well behaved dog.

The Psalms, and the range of emotions and picture of God painted in them.

Sitting around with friends, not worried about filling the time with some arbitrary activity.

How old am I again?

From the title, this post should probably be light-hearted and fun. It's not.

I'm wondering how old I am because I really feel like a poorly behaved little boy. I am told repeatedly not to get dirty, even shown the splendors of cleanliness and allowed to partake of its benefits. I see the good things my Father has for me, I see the forgiveness and trust in His eyes when I tell him I'll stay clean from now on, and I see the anguish on His face when I come in the door, dripping in muck, asking to be cleaned up again. Because as fun as getting dirty might seem, being dirty sucks.

Why are all of these things not enough to keep my sorry butt out of the dirt? Why do the people around me not see who I am and hate me for it? I try not to get them dirty, but being around someone as filthy as me has got to rub off after a while. Why does my Father continue to love me? Where does He get all that soap? When will I learn? I don't love people like I'm supposed to, I don't love God a fraction what He's worth. I fail my wife as a lover, a leader and a provider, I fail my friends as a brother in Christ. I fail almost every single person I encounter as a witness and light and a bringer of hope. I waste my time and the gifts God has given me. I waste the grace He's poured out again and again. I'm a phony and a liar.

I asked God to give me a new heart, because I hate the one I have. I asked to grieve my sins, now I wish I didn't have so many to grieve. Please pray for me.

I don't like the idea of publishing this for the world to see. But I want people to see God's grace in the fact that I am still alive, and still allowed to call out to God for forgiveness. And I want people to know who I really am, so at least they can make an informed decision about me.

Handouts are hard work

The next time I hear someone complaining about free money given to them by the government, I think I might get violent. Within the last little while, I've had a guy tell me how hard it is being on L&I, a woman tell me how getting unemployment benefits is a big pain in the butt, and a man complaining the he didn't receive an economic stimulus package because he's on social security (as an aside, I hadn't heard that people on SS weren't getting the stimulus, and suspect he just hasn't been filing taxes).

I really feel bad for you, what with all that getting-money-for-nothing you have to deal with.

Do these people not realize that they are talking to one of the honest, hard working citizens that spends 11 hours a day at a desk to pay for them to do whatever they feel like all day?

I try to love everyone, but some people make it so hard.

i can haz bailout?

The picture doesn't really serve any purpose, beside lending it's meme to my title and being really funny.

The point of my post is that I'm tired of people telling me that the government should not bail the banks out because "if I had a business, and it failed, would the government bail me out?" My question to them (which goes unasked, because clearly they are not up to a real discussion) is: does your business affect the lives of nearly every person in the world? Because if it did, they probably would.

Does that mean that I am in favor of a government bailout? No. But I say that in full acknowledgment that no bailout almost certainly would mean another economic depression. What? Did you hear that correctly? Am I in favor of a depression? Yes. I don't personally know too many people who lived through the first depression, but everyone I know who knows someone who did says things like "They just didn't waste stuff like we do." My dad was telling me that his neighbor Jack, who is like 80 or something, has firewood in his garage that is 25 years old! He just can't see throwing it away because it might be useful someday. Obviously that might seem a little extreme, but it's that mentality that we as a culture have completely abandoned. I think one of the biggest root causes of a lot of our problems as a society is our wastefulness. So, while it would be devastating to me personally, and incredibly hard, and all those bad things, I think in the end, we'd all be better off.

Short Memories

I was reading a transcript of an NPR interview with Nancy Pelosi, wherein, she said that she had demanded that President Bush "apologize" to the American people for the current economic troubles in our country. What a load of crap. Should she have to apologize for her crusade to raise minimum wage that has undoubtedly increased inflation and exacerbated the problems? Should Bill Clinton have to apologize for the deregulation of commercial banks, allowing them to get into the securities business and begin inventing complex and exotic forms of credit and loans? Or at the very least, she should demand a posthumous apology from Woodrow Wilson, who signed the Federal Reserve Act into law. I am continually disgusted by this woman.

My Brain, as art.

Here's a couple of things I'm thinking, before I head home from work and forget them:

I like cooking, and except for a certain "cooked bacon on high heat" incident, I've never had any major cooking mishaps. I's venture to say I'm relatively talented in the kitchen. The problem is, I am supremely lazy. 9 times out of 10 I'd rather do nothing than something. So I don't have any motivation to cook until I'm really hungry, and then I just want food now and usually go buy something. Hence, my cooking skills are never displayed or excercised. Plus, when you have a wife who can cook like mine can, it's kind of like practicing guitar when you have Eric Clapton hanging out at your house all the time.

I wanted to add something about how I'm revolutionizing my life with to-do lists, but I'm out of time.

The grass only looks greener through rose colored glasses...wait...

I love to travel. Not any place special, or particular. In fact, I think visiting someplace tropical like the South Pacific or the Caribbean would be kinda...boring. The reason I like to go new places is because I like to see places that I'm unfamiliar with. Just streets and strip malls and grocery stores, residential areas and small commercial districts, big cities with metropolitan downtowns and ugly industrial areas. I just love seeing them, walking around in them, feeling a part of them if only for a few brief moments.

The reason that I love them, and don't necessarily prefer cliche vacation spots, is because I'm fascinated by the idea that life is going on everywhere at once, and not on a giant, newsworthy scale, like we see on...the news...but small scale: people buying meat at a butcher for dinner, a mom giving in to her kids and stopping in at a McDonalds I've never been to. All these people I've never met, and will never meet, all doing things and thinking about things and making plans and just living out their lives. New places just seem so pregnant with possibility. Although, if birthing possibility is anything like birthing humans, I'll wait in the lobby. Call me after you've wiped it off.

I think I heard a saying somewhere that familiarity breeds contempt. The only difference between these places I'm so fascinated with and Tacoma, where I live, is that other places are new. These new places don't really offer any more or less possibility than my hometown (cue Springsteen song), they just seem to because they are new and unfamiliar to me. It probably helps that I usually travel in nice weather, sunshine makes any place look nicer.

But the reason I thought of all of this is, I was walking back from KMart to work, and I looked over at 72nd and Portland ave from an angle I don't usually get. It was kind of an unfamiliar sight, and it evoked the same sense, if greatly diminished, that being in a strange place does. Maybe my whole fascination with travel is not a fascination with travel at all, but instead a fascination with change and newness. Life is on everywhere, I just have to see through the familiarity and realize that.

Stay Away! Quaratine!

I'm in a total funk today and I don't want it to spread it subconsciously through a post about something completely unrelated.

I'll get back to it when I have something nice to say. Thanks Thumper!

Who am I? Tombstone, The Royal Tenenbaums, and Good Will Hunting, that's who.

I was getting ready to fill out my profile so, in the off chance that my blog becomes part of a larger opinion-sharing community, people can get a better idea of who the person who's thought they are reading is. That sentence was a mess. I was reading through the available fields, thinking of clever answers and I was thinking of my favorite movies. In almost every "personal profile" I've ever seen or filled out, favorite movies is a category. If we, as a society, define ourselves or other people by the movies we watch, it may be time for a priority check. Movies are entertainment. The same goes for books and music, although books I think might be on a different plane because of the much greater density and specific nature of information accessible in a book.

But does anyone really want to be known as "that guy who really likes Will Ferrell movies?" Or even "that guy who only watches indie films?" I have met such a wide variety of people that fit into either of those categories, that I would be apprehensive of lumping myself in with either. "The guy who has read a lot of Jonathan Edwards," on the other hand offers much more specific information about that person.

My point? I dunno, watch fewer movies? Read more books?

Maybe my point is be careful and conscious of how you define yourself. Take it for what you will.

Sit Ubu, Sit. Good boy.

God is a good trainer. I am a bad dog.

My wife's little sisters have these dogs, Rat Terriers. That's pretty much what they look like, tenacious rats. One of them, Martin, is passable as a dog, but the rest look like they are only a milk bone away from scurrying into the walls.

I see the girls sometimes attempting to train these unruly mongrels (not really, they can be fun, I'm just not a small dog person...heh, thanks for ruining that Demetri), they might sit them in a spot and either walk away with or throw something the dog really wants. We've all seen this happen, with our own dogs or someone else's. With the rat terriers, on the rare occasion that they don't just take off after what they want, they sit there, starting holes through the treat, and shaking. Literally vibrating with anticipation and desire. Vibrating with desire? Let's not change the rating here, huh?

In this way (and hopefully ONLY this way) I am a rat terrier.

Sometimes my beautiful wife has to work at 4am, sending her to bed at 8 or so the night before. This is my coveted Mike time. I usually just play video games, but is it ever glorious. From 8pm to 10 pm one or two nights a week, I am free to do whatever I want. As long as it doesn't make noise. Usually I just play video games.

After my commitment outlined in my last post, I decided that I was going to help Michelle make dinner, since she had worked all day too, and I was going to read the Bible and pray with her after dinner, before my Mike time. Dinner took a little longer than anticipated, it was our first attempt at Chow Mein, wherein I learned some things.

1) Non-stick from Ikea is NOT non-stick. Buy products with names I can pronounce. Nebvarschtyykes, sounds like "never sticks" but may well mean "do not use me for Chow Mein preparation."

2) I think chopping celery and then onions might be some sort of diabolical cocktail of finger stinkiness. Like the celery opens up the pores on your hands to allow the onion to take root becoming a permanent part of your personal bouquet of odors. I am fairly confident at this point that I will smell like onion for the rest of my life. I may as well accept it and think of clever excuses to use at parties. "I know, can you believe it? That guy behind me must bathe in onion juice. That's what I get for shaking hands with people I didn't smell thouroughly first."

When we were done with dinner, I was ready to get our reading done and hop on the computer. God, or my wife, or both, has other ideas. Michelle needed to take a shower, so I sat on the couch, watching my minutes tick by, also watching this stupid show called Wipeout. Don't waste your minutes on it. Then we did our reading, and we prayed, and then I was totally ready to hit the computer when Michelle asks me about how I would share the gospel with someone, and I tried repeatedly to give quick and simple answers. But God, or my wife, or both (I think they may be in cahoots) made sure that I stayed put until she was satisfied, and I was shaking with anticipation and desire. See what that whole rat terrier thing was about? See what I did there? Full Circle.

The point is, God is training me. And it's not always easy. In fact I've found in life that the easy thing is NEVER the best thing. But I am so thankful that He is do faithful to me when I am so unfaithful to him.

That was long winded. You get extra points for adding in the comments the words "purple monkey dishwasher" to prove you read this far.

I think I'm going to rename my "Mike Time" "Selfish Time." Gotta keep it real.

Do you hear what I hear? You should.

I put a lot of work into my Pandora radio stations, picking and choosing artists, thumbs upping and thumbs downing songs, and naming my stations clever little names that evoke to me the feeling I get from that station. It would make it all seem a lot less frivolous if I thought someone else was listening to them. The only way I know of to make them available to you is to send you to my facebook. From there, click on the Boxes tab, and you'll see my pandora box (heh).

http://www.new.facebook.com/editpicture.php#/profile.php?id=1229990789

My favorites right now are Tom Waits Radio, Dirty, Satly and Tired, and Sweet Home. If you get chance to listen, please let me know what you think.

Validate me.

Being More Others-Centered

That was the theme of the sermon by Dr. John Piper (one of my heroes) that we listened to last night at the young men's Bible study we do on Mondays. It's really just 4 or 5 (depending on whether or not David has to work late) guys in their mid-20s...wait...when did I get to be in my mid 20's...this merits further consideration...And we get together on Mondays. Some nights we play pickleball (at which I am the solid #2 in terms of skill, and #1 is Karl, who owns the court, so I feel pretty good), some nights we eat, we listen to sermons, we read books, we talk and pray.

Sorry, tangent. Back to Piper.

He's talking about Phil. chapter 2:

"Look at verse 4: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The word interests is a filler. In the original, it’s open-ended. All that is specified is “your own (something)” or “the other’s (something).” So it could be, “Let each of you look not only to your own financial affairs, or your own property, or your own family, or your own health, or your own reputation, or your own education, or your own success, or your own happiness—don’t just think about that, don’t just have desires about that, don’t just strategize about that, don’t just work toward that; but look to the financial affairs and property and family and health, and reputation, and education, and success, and happiness of others.”

In other words, verse 4 is a way of saying the words of Jesus, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:39). That is, make the good of others the focus of your interest and strategy and work. Find your joy in making others joyful. If you are watching television and your child says, Would you play with me? don’t just think about how tired you are. By an act of gospel-fashioned, Christ-exalting will, put the child’s interests before the pleasures of your relaxation."

(can't get the italics to turn off, please bear with me)

I am trying desparately to discern what God wants me to do with my life. It has occurred to me recently that in order to accomplish this, I need to hear God. In order to hear God, I need to be obedient to God. I have committed to the guys I study with to be more disciplined and obedient in the areas of: Bible Study, Prayer, Family Spiritual Leadership, and Being Others-Centered. This sermon so perfectly illustrates God's will for our interaction with those around us. I pray that I can model my life and behavior after this example.

We live such selfish lives, so wrapped up in what we want. I'd refer you to an ealier post, but upon rereading that post, I find it to be rather dark and cynical, and I may delete it shortly. But even in trying to figure out what I'm supposed to make my career doing, have I asked Michelle what she wants out of life as far as that's concerned? No, I've spent countless hours thinking about all the possible careers and how they would shape MY life. I need to be less selfish, with my time and my gifts, and love other people better. Christ has given me a complete and comprehensive example of how to do that, I'll I have to do is copy Him. In school, copying people was the easy way out of doing something, and it was wrong. In loving people, copying Christ is way easier than trying to figure it out on my own, and it's the RIGHT thing to do. Seems so obvious.

How does this relate to you, the average blog reader (well, the average friend/family member of mine, since not THAT many people care what I have to say...yet)? If there is anything I can do for you, or pray for you about, please please let me know. Please help me be obedient by allowing me to excercise others-centeredness.

Also, listen to that Piper sermon, the whole thing. It's not long, but it is impactful. I'm sure I'll have listened to it a few more times before the end of the week, and the next sermon posted.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2008/3204_The_Mind_of_Christ_Looking_Out_for_the_Interests_of_Others/

Or, if you'd like, I have it on my ipod and I'd be happy to listen to it with you. If I can get enough people listening to sermons with me, perhaps I can justify upgrading my ipod to an ipod touch...

I'm sure there's much much more to be said about this topic, but that will have to wait for another post. Seems this one got rather out of control.

In Shackles

Please, for the love of all that is good and right, do NOT read The Shack. Unless you don't like God's sovereignty, the Bible, the Body of Christ, the Holy Trinity, Family Devotions, or a benevolent Holy Spirit. Or most other things that the Bible, the only Word of God, teaches us are true. If you don't like those things, or lack reading comprehension, you'll love The Shack. When I get home, I'll link to a great review of the tragic waste of time that is this book.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

To whom it may concern,
This post has been deleted for the betterment of society. If, by some misfortune, you happened to read this post before it's deletion, I sincerely apologize if it caused you any discomfort. I invite you to this site for uplifting and the redemption of lost minutes.

By the grace of God,
Mike

Vice President

Does the word Vice in Vice president have any relation to the word vice as used in Miami Vice?

Interesting.

My wife and I got into a rather heated discussion last night about Sarah Palin and her suitability for VP. We started on opposite sides and arrived at Michelle's opinion that she should not be VP, because women should not be in positions of authority over men, and because her duties as a mother need to come first, both to her new baby and her other children who clearly lack good parenting. Am I being harsh and judgemental? Yep.

Numero Uno

Well, here's attempt #76843 to start and maintain a blog. I'm hoping this one will allow me to add things from my mobile device, which will be a great justification to my wife when I ask to upgrade my mobile device to one capable of posting to my blog.

It's also a great time to start a couple of my blog's running jokes, so readers feel like they have a connection to the community surrounding my blog.

Running Jokes:
My addiction to mobile devices
Making fun of people's addiction to the idea of community
Clever or thoughtful titles to my posts